On Suicides and all..........

Hamare India mein pehli class ka result badmen ata hai aur agli class k lie tuitions pehle shuru ho jati hain. Toh meri bhi 11th ki tuitions 10th ka result ane se pehle hi shuru ho chuki thin. Maine science side lene ka faisla kia tha. Science side le toh li par wo atoms ka jhamela, differentiation ki mar, aur physics ki bhi na jane kitni hi cheejen mere kuch jyada samajh nahi ati thin. Mere marks puri 11th mein lagataar kam hote chale gae. Final term mein mere 66.4% ae the. 88.6% se seedha 66.4% par. Main khud samajh nahi pa raha tha iska karan kya hai. Han, maine padna thoda kam kia tha, par itna bhi nahi ki itne kam number aen. Shayad ye padai thi hi aisi. Main aksar sochta tha ki yaar ye log hume robot samajhte hain kya. Hamari teachers toh aise samajhti thi jaise puri dunia mein humse bada koi nalayak tha hi nahi. Chalo, ye nikkamapan bhi hamare nam k sath jud chukka tha. Ab 12th main pahunch gae the. Padai aur mushkil ho gai. Par jaise ki maine apko bataya mera man isme jyada lagta nahi tha. Aisa nahi hai ki main mushkil cheejon se darta tha. Teachers nikkama samajhti thi, par asal mein main tha nahi. Bat bas itni si thi ki mujhe science padne mein jyada maja nahi ata tha. Mera interest kisi aur hi cheej mein tha. Mehnat toh fir bhi ki. Pre- boards ka jab result aya toh mere 70.2% the. Maine socha, chalo, acha hai, boards mein toh isse jyada hi aenge. Boards ki date sheet bhi aa gai. Main apko bata dun ki zindagi jaisi bhi thi, jitni bhi khali aur bekar thi, khudkushi karne ka khyal kabhi mere man mein nahi aya. Padai ka wo pressure jhelne ki himmat thi mujhme. Arre mere parents, meri behan, sab mujhe kitna pyar karte the. Main bhala kaise soch sakta tha is bare mein. Par pressure jhelne ki himmat sabme nahi hoti. Boards shuru ho chuke the aur pehla exam hue bhi do din beet chuke the. Meri ek friend ka phone aya.

“Mohit, main ja rahi hun. Mujhe chemistry ka paper bilkul nahi ata aur agar mere ache number nahi ae toh apne mom dad ka samna main nahi kar paungi, itni himmat nahi hai mujhme. Maine chithi likh di hai. Aj apne hath par blade bhi chalae par fir ruk gai. Mohit main exams khatam hone tak hi hun, bas itne hi din hain mere. Result ka samna main nahi kar paungi”

Maine socha pagal ho gai hai ye ladki. Arre koi ek stupid se exam ki wajah se aisa karta hai kya. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha kya bolun.

“Pagal ho gai hai kya. Kaisi baten kar rahi hai.” Bahut samjhaya maine. Exam ke baad milne ko bola.

Milne par bhi maine use bahut samjhaya par uske dimag par toh jaise ek sanak sawar thi. Harkar maine uske mom dad ko bataya. Akhir hum sabke bahut samjhane par bat uske kuch samajh ai.

Wo toh man gai par bahut log aise hain jo is padai ke pressure ko, zindagi ke utar chadav ko jhel nahi pate. Khud ko khatam karna unhe sab se aasan tareeka lagta hai. Doston, ye zindagi itni sasti nahi hai ki hum ise aise hi kho den. Hume apna swarth, apna selfishpan chodna hoga.

Zindagi ek tohfa hai,
Jo milta hai khushnasibi se,
Mana ki ye zindagi apki hai,
Magar har faisla nahi hoga apki marzi se,
Un logon ke bare mein,
Socho kuch lamhon k lie,
Jo taiyaar hain,
Apke lie kuch bhi kar guzarne k lie,
Ek ma, jiski zindagi basti hai apmen,
Wo bap, apke lie kai sapne hain jiski ankhon mein,
Bhai jo ladta bahut hai,
Magar pyar wo apse karta bahut hai,
Kuch dost jinke lie zindagi ka matlab shayad ap ho,
Chahe ap kuch bhi keh lo,
Magar, khushnaseeb to ap bahut ho,
Koi hak nahi apko apno ko rulane ka,
Koi hak nahi apko maut ko apnane ka……….